I thought building a fan base on line was the new way to validate my career until I saw a 13 year old girl’s twitter page the other day. She had 20,000 followers! And she doesn’t sing or play an instrument. They tell me if you can amass 1000 followers you can make money! I wouldn’t know that for sure. I can only talk to maybe a hundred people a day even limiting myself to 140 characters. That’s also the number of “characters” that follow me should the truth be known. Granted that’s a larger audience than Ali Baba had with the 40 thieves. But eliminate the social media experts, real estate agents and positive affirmation gurus. Then see how many followers are junk twitters with pretty face twit pics attached to make you think yer talking to some hot young thing. You then discover yer true followers start to round off closer the numbers you might find at a Tupperware party.

 I was disappointed to find that two of my followers were actually the same guy with two accounts! And now I’m feeling like Gideon has surrounded me with just 300 of his finest but they all have matching torches. Now if you sit for five minutes in front of the home page where your followers post their incomplete sentences @someoneelse, you get the feeling of watching the river run. There are no ripples when you throw a pebble into a babbling brook.

Twitter mania gives me this visual of a hail storm on a lake. It’s an awesome sight! But then no one is focusing on any one splash. I can still remember being told you weren’t serious about your career if you didn’t have a website! Now my website is just a junk drawer where I post my twitters for those who missed em on Facebook. And with the new tech I can now have my twitters broadcast to any number of web configurations. Have you ever been in a restaurant when suddenly the volume goes up because everyone in the place has decided to start talking at the same time? You can’t hear your own conversation at some point. It’s not long till you find yourself shouting “LETS GO SOMEWHERE QUIETER WHERE I CAN HEAR YOU.”

 Now don’t get me wrong here. The new social media has it’s place. But it’s also the equivalent of the hotel lobby some of you might remember during Gospel Music Association’s week long convention. If you’ve been there you are aware of how many times someone was talking to you and looking over your shoulder to see who else might be worth handing their service card to. Once again we must be reminded of individual relationship and personal attention. Seeing real people and hearing them as well. It’s an age old human defect, where our one mouth outperforms our two ears.

 The first time I listened to a twitter head was when I was looking for advice about how much time to devote to amassing a twitter following. Hop Hopkins of Oklahoma told me he spends maybe ten minutes a day taking an interest in one or two individuals. The one truth that I have seen floating through Twitterville is that everyone is looking for encouragement and motivation. It’s the new recovery group phone call when yer facing relapse. Coined phrases float across every page, words of wisdom and insight and in my case humor! I have real people sorted into group listings to keep up with followers who resonate with one or more passions: Ministry, motorcycles, rehab and recovery, readers and quote-rs, musicians, and business professionals.

 I see social media as a perpetual convention mostly. It beats handing out flyers in the parking lot by a nose. So, yes, meet and greet but don’t forget the eye contact. Work does come from the effort but not before the synergy of resonating with passionate souls. And who knows maybe you’ll find some like minds who don’t fall into your marketing demographic! If there’s one thing that inspires me about “on line fishing” is that every once in a while I’ll have a conversation with someone in Indonesia or Scotland who’s feeling the exact same sense of futility in tryin to talk to too many people at once!

Here’s where I don’t want God’s job, hearing all the prayers and direct messaging the entire worlds population. But I do believe it’s a whole new way of being “in the world” just as long as you’re not “full of it!”  

On Twitter I have only 140 characters before I’m through. Here I get at least 800 words! “OMG” It’s like 3200 tweets with no interjections!

But if you’d rather hear less of me, I’m at twitter.com/bryan_duncan  where you can find me immediately if you feel my take is not that ”GR8”, or just to “LOL”. Here’s a new one “GFAC”..(Go Forth And Conquer)

should you like to post comments and get a quicker response, I’ve found it easier to casually address individuals directly on Twitter.com!

go to www.twitter.com/bryan_duncan if you’d like a direct response. I’m on their almost daily at some point. even now I’m finding a new road in Social Media.

my website will still remain a home for pictures and longer reads and especially for sales of music and such. But like the world itself we are all finding an ever changing universe.

I have a harder time with change these days but after the initial complaints I’m discovering a whole new adventure. It’s not familiar territory but at least I’m not bored! 8). kinda like a roller coaster ride at some point.

Every musician and artist goes through the highs and lows of popularity. But concerts as a way of outreach has been horribly discounted in recent years and with the decline of the music business in the way of hard sales of product due to downloading and theft  has left me in a position of attaching myself to what ever draws the audience.

I have spent countless hours before God, in anticipation of a new vision with regards to what I’m doing. Touring holds no passion for me these days. The road life was so unproductive for me as to leave me nearly corrupted. The cost was enormous! And my losses in the way of community and family have left me with a floundering sense of true purpose.

I’m incredibly slow at processing my dilemma’s. I remain stuck in my own denial. my persception is untrustworthy mostly. I become paranoid about what I believe to be happening. Is it merely my own decline? or is there a decline everywhere, that music is not the force that it once was.

Is it just that older people (like myself) just don’t have time to attend concerts? Unless drinks are served in a comfortable and entertaining atmosphere no one makes the effort.

true that one man will travel 8 hours to hear me sing. but those ten minutes away find some distraction that prevents them from attending.  and so I am relegated to participating in someone else’s agenda.

The information super highway has made it hard to get anyone’s attention for more than a few seconds and the demand for new material is almost oppressive. Headlines with little content continues to be the wave. Give me the readers digest version. I’ll check out “Whatever” for dummies and move on.

Clearly the world has drastically changed and I have not kept up. Typical old person feeling I’m sure. “the world went and got itself in a big damn hurry” says a convict getting out after a 20 year prison sentence. In the movie Shawshank Redemption.

“Either get busy livin or get busy dyin” they add in that story. I’m choosing life myself. but I’m also like the star character in this movie. Tunneling through 200 feet of stone wall with a small rock hammer!

Here’s prayin that we may find what God intends because all else is a waste of time. If it is darkest just before the dawn… then surely the dawn is at hand now more than ever!

Saturday I had a blessed little biker blessing event to sing at. Sponsored by my own Black Sheep chapter. It was a bike blessing and they served a Biscuits  and Gravy breakfast. I was drinking the cravy from a bowl after my presentation. It was that good.

I got the idea to bring my bike hauler and use it for a little stage. It was a perfect set up for a parking lot concert. My friend Derek Hughes set up a tight little p.a. system to and I parked a sweet Harley in front of the stage for effect.

Bikers are a flighty lot and I expected em to be rolling out quickly but as I played my most uptempo material, and added three Christmas blues tunes they mostly hung around til the very end.

I sold more NehoSoul Christmas CD’s than HOGWASH books which was a surprise.

What can I say this gig was all gravy for this old biscuit. I left thinking about bringin my own stage set up all the time and just playin in parking lots. At least there’s no line at the door!.

Sunday Morning I played the tiniest little church in Montclair “Church In The Oaks”. Inside was the most intimate of church settings. Felt like a glorified attic! with carpet and vaulted ceiling. It was remarkably comfortable. So sound proof that they needed little in the way of P.A.

This was a “partnering with pastors” service. Done in a conversation with the local pastor. It went so well conversationally that I only played five songs.

There has been a flow in my “content” on stage as a direct result of personal hardship that I can only attribute it to Divine design. The message is built around Psalm 119:71 “the sufferings you sent, were good for me”… I had a new story example for every song this morning. I included my feelings about my son leaving a Christmas card for me last year. and when I sang: “I would like to say.. just before I leave you”…. from “I love you with my life”. there were tears all around.

The moment was so powerful that I had to end with this song and let that moment linger. The whole message was about seeing difficult people as the ‘God sends’ that they are. Because usually its the same people close to you that bring you joy if you persevere.

I was done by noon. Driving home I thought about the things I’ve tried to make happen vs the things God surprised me with. and I can see that He is plowing a different field with me. One I have continually overlooked in my search for something “bigger”.

it was a costume party and all the dead musicians were there! I felt a little uncomfortable coming dressed as “Myself”. it was also being held in a senior citizen’s facility!

Chris Henson put the party on and went out of his way to make this outrageous. And by nine oclock I was on a private date with my wife in Laguna Hills.

Saturday night came to early by five thirty it’s dark already this time of year. If one is going to the “Road House Biker Church” one must pull up on a motorcycle! at least that is my take.

I had to dawn full riding leather for this one. the ride home was in 53 degree weather! not cold for some of ya.. but real close to when I trade a bike in for a cage!.

Road House is an awesome little saloon feel meets little country church meets old fashioned tent revival. original wooden pews, swinging doors, and all fresh cut wood interior.. I think a saw dust floor what have taken me back to my early childhood.

It was great to get back to what I do best. after this week I might have forgotten that I actually do ‘community service” for free all the time! and I am more passionate about it now.

O.k. So ‘moving on’… bryan d

Eight bikers showed up to ride in. I had a great time with them. Made the four hour trip a lot shorter. Thanks to George Esparza.

Played on a flatbed outdoors for a candy bash. Came on after a really good progressive metal band. Guitar player and drummer were spectacular. Guitarist did a Joe Satrianni piece that was impressive.

It was candy night of course and I was full of  it! Humor went over well too.

Sunday came an hour late but everyone was at church on time for a change. I brought an hour of the service. Ken Rasmussen might have trusted me too much!

Great and humble folks at Valley Life, and that sanctuary was the perfect music hall.

I ran into two hundred HOG members at the grapevine coming home and discovered that several had already read the HOGWASH book cover to cover!

Jezebel was in a great mood ridin home in the pale moonlight.

But now with my own father’s health precarious, I’d like to do this for him and my own “offspring”. Devin is a singer/songwriter/actor which means he’s also working at the bowling alley between casting calls. (I know the ’starving artist’ thing pretty well myself).

Today I booked Jasmine Sound studio in San Clemente, Ca.. And I will meet my 25 year old halfway! He’s comin from downtown L.A. and me? I’m in the Desert. I’ll take pics and we’ll see if we have something we want to offer to the public… or maybe just for family and friends!

I’d like to open with a letter I wrote to God, from a book I have coming out this year, called Dear God… Really?  Prayers you won’t hear in church.

Dear God… Make me a success

I’m not sure what that means really, but my vision is to be independently wealthy, so I don’t need anybody. I’ll pay appropriate homage to you of course and act humble. I’ll give to those in need too, I just don’t want to be one of them. I’d like to be in control and look good to everyone around me.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I do look a lot more spiritual when I’m not lacking anything. It’s easier to tell others about you and how you made it all happen. It’s a win-win for both of us. As I see it, no body listens to poor people! Here’s where your plan for “spreading the gospel” might not be working. Most of your followers have very little influence in their communities. The Gospel is the “Good News” right? So what could be better than not being needy?

Thanks for letting me share… amen

My favorite read is Oswald Chambers.. mostly his devotional “my utmost for his highest”… I call him Ozzie… the one thing that has stuck out in the last year from his work is where he says “avoid posing as a profound person”…

So here I am accepting an opportunity to speak to you about some great insights into success. All I know is I’ve been in the music business for 40 years. I’m still here. So I guess I’m successful.

I relate most to a quote in the movie ‘As Good As It Gets. The Gay guy observes of the disgruntled novelist about his new attempt at a love life….“the one thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself”.

This morning I’ve been asked to speak to you about “The cost of success and the Road To Redemption”. I don’t pretend to know that cost in actual figures. But I know I’m still making payments! and my interest rate is pretty high. In the movie the Awakening, a researcher, being interviewed for a new job says, “I’ve been studying the habits of worms for the last 20 years, to see if there was any chance of using worm feces for fertilizer”. ? “that would never work” the interviewer says. The researcher replies “Yes, I know that now” .

The cost of success is greatest in discovering what success is not! And these days it might be discovering what success is not anymore! We have a golden opportunity in these lean times to sharpen our focus on what is most productive. They say companies are run better with less waste when they can no longer afford to waste. In rehab, I recall a statement about climbing the ladder of success only to find the ladder was leaning against the wrong building. What I have learned recently is that Upward movement can be a deception. I have also learned in my own experience that if the ladder is not stable the climb will be a waste of time.

I had a reasonably stable ladder as a young man. My dad was a preacher, so was my mom for that matter. I could point out the defects of character in my parents that I might have inherited, but all in all I was given a good foundation. One thing I had to learn by myself however, is that having the answers before you know the questions does not help you work the problem. Put an arrogant big shot on a “stable” but skinny ladder and when he gets to the top his own weight distribution will definitely change the dynamic.

I believe maintaining a balanced EGO might be the first cost of success. Cause it gets fatter the closer to the top of the ladder you get. I found myself expecting more and delivering less.

I’ve always questioned Jesus’ words “if you want to lead learn to be the servant of all”. I chose to “delegate” my service requirements. To the point I had too much time on my hands. I was financially unworried for thirty years. But I was not content. My passion became a distant cousin in my little family business.

I wrote a song recently, that says “You gotta do what you love… and love what you get”.  That’s really where I might have gone wrong to begin with. I was unhappy with the results of my passion, mostly it was because it was never enough!.  Pretty soon it was “just business”. I ended up in Rehab at the top of my career, another disillusioned victim of addictions. I became my own biggest liability.

I know what that cost me. I lost a wife, and the fragile trust of many, my home, and at least half of my career. But God was gracious in that I was not the recipient of Public humiliation. I quietly checked into a Rehab In 1990 mostly for long term depression. I reached an early arrival at “gaining the world and losing my own soul”. Looking back I would say it was a matter of poorly defined parameters about what success is, always followed by unrealistic expectations. After all I was only looking for Universal acceptance and world wide domination.

I have always had well meaning intentions, but even my most noble of causes have been side lined by my own defects of character. Being something of a Rock Star, I was afforded the notion, that I was above the law and the rules did not apply to me. Simple ones, like the rules of consequence. My choices for self comfort were justified when my bank account was healthy, but I was growing spiritually bankrupt even as I wrote and sang the regurgitated messages of hope and salvation that paid the bills. I don’t lay out my list of addictions as I believe they are merely symptoms of a deeper affliction. Behaviors, you’ve all heard about time and again from celebrities who answer to no one, are so typical they become rather boring. What I’d like to say here is that Recovery works when you work it. I might add it stops when you stop.

I’ve been working a recovery program since 1990. I’d like to say I’ve had no problems since arriving at Step 12 but the truth is I am still powerless over my dependencies (starting with an unaligned Self Determination) and they are still capable of making my life unmanageable. I’ve heard the stories of those who’ve been miraculously and instantaneously transformed by the power of God. That has not been my experience. God delivers me daily, but he has never removed my power to choose between success and failure.

I could list the things I do that are constructive to rehabilitation too but it usually serves to place me in denial about what I’m still capable of doing in a direction that is not suitable for success in life. Jesus Christ is my higher power and supreme redeemer but I still discount his work in me, and ignore one principle while following another.

I’ve learned that Salvation can be quick but Redemption is a process. Recovery is for everyone eventually. It’s like I say on my radio rehab show on line: “if you have living relatives, you have something to recover from”. So don’t think you have to be a crack addict before you believe you need to find a way to overcome yourself as a liability.

Addiction is merely self will run amuck. It can be whatever makes your life unmanageable. It may be as subtle as self serving greed! If the consequences of giving in to temptations were immediate, we probably wouldn’t be tempted at all. The denial starts from the beginning that “just this once” I’ll go around the boundaries.

No one recalls the seven years I wrote and sang music without a contract or a budget. And no one will ever award you for the daily discipline it will take before success arrives either. They will only see the results of what pans out. I think of the leper who dipped seven times in the Jordan. He only came up once with pure skin.

If you are personally defective in some area of your life that only you might know, You have a lot of company so don’t stand alone. “Confess your faults one to another that you might be healed” it says in James chapter 5 verse 16. the recovery program adds:  “to God, yourself and at least one other person, someone you trust”!

No one recovers alone… and success really does have many fathers. “Yes, I know that now!” I took much for granted of those who worked on my behalf. I have made and am still making amends for my thoughtlessness and unappreciative nature.

Today I would say that I am happier doing more with less. More than I have ever been! Because my passion has been restored above all else. It gives me a better attitude regardless of what the economy does or the circumstances I am in. I am successful because I can see the value in all the things I once took for granted. I used to get disappointed with God because he would never tell me the outcome of my efforts or give me a clear look at the future.  What I realize now is that I was overlooking the joy of surprises.

I heard a statement in the movie “call of the wild”… speaking of a boy who left home and disconnected from his parents dysfunctional lives never to be heard from again. “They are not the same people” his sister says in a letter to him that he never read. “they are people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss”. Gentleman that would be me! softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss.

I have started over from scratch. Redefining what is within reasonable boundaries for risk to achieve. I believe Jesus died for my sins but God surely lets me suffer the consequence of my own free will. Perhaps so that I may grow in wisdom so that in my old age I can say. God’s will is more than a suggestion for a good life. There is only one path that leads to success. It is through the denial of your own self satisfying desires. If your goal to be successful includes being “self satisfied” , You will not find true success at anything!

Someone told me that if you invest everything in one thing, you will be forever disappointed. Because there will be no surprises, only great expectations, and surely much disappointment.

I like something I heard from a friend in Recovery who said “what if your plan b was really God’s plan A all along. I have come to believe that Happiness is a by product of business until God surprises you with his plan A blessings. Something that cannot be worked for to achieve.  It comes with the insight into how much we are already successful because Christ has redeemed us apart from any effort on our part. We are now free to pursue whatever is pure and noble and of good report.

I wish you all the insight into what makes you truely successful.  thank you for letting me share.

from the beginning when our eyes met, standing by your car, lost hurt and broken from years of neglect, we took a chance… I thought I was invisible, incapable, unloveable…

You appeared, an angel of mercy and grace without wings… forced to the ground… your offer was impossible I thought to myself as I took your hand in low expectation….

and immediately smileds appeared… soothing softness came from your mouth.. there was healing in your touch…

You began to etch the image of yourself indelibly on my heart… filling my soul like cool water on an empty stomach…color returned to my face… and I began to see beauty in everything around me…

soon I was singing a new song… slow at first… with passion increasing…haunting melody… sweet and sad… and wonderful.. changing key and pitch and then… exuberant..

you are the song in my heart…. I sing the story of you to this day… a complicated arrangement but the chords struck are magnificent, transcendent…and tears flow from gratitdue for the gift that you are…

you are my Godsend… a surprising second coming in the clouds… a golden harp… smooth nylon strings… strung tightly in tune… challenging to my hands… to produce the best sound I can from you…

I pour my heart into your melody… running my fingers over you … caressing, needing… your shape leaning against my shoulder, I hold you … I’m in heaven…

you are the instrument of my expression… giving me the power to make music …producing tones that others only dream of… heavenly themes… original but somehow familiar… heart sweeping …

The song is C A S A N D R A…long and lilting…it flows forth in waves and rolls along the shore at sunset… it sings of forever… and a single moment… and after four years… the best moment is now!