My first “Speech”
Thank you for inviting me to be with you this morning I consider this a real honor.
I’d like to open with a letter I wrote to God, from a book I have coming out this year, called Dear God… Really? Prayers you won’t hear in church.
Dear God… Make me a success
I’m not sure what that means really, but my vision is to be independently wealthy, so I don’t need anybody. I’ll pay appropriate homage to you of course and act humble. I’ll give to those in need too, I just don’t want to be one of them. I’d like to be in control and look good to everyone around me.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I do look a lot more spiritual when I’m not lacking anything. It’s easier to tell others about you and how you made it all happen. It’s a win-win for both of us. As I see it, no body listens to poor people! Here’s where your plan for “spreading the gospel” might not be working. Most of your followers have very little influence in their communities. The Gospel is the “Good News” right? So what could be better than not being needy?
Thanks for letting me share… amen
My favorite read is Oswald Chambers.. mostly his devotional “my utmost for his highest”… I call him Ozzie… the one thing that has stuck out in the last year from his work is where he says “avoid posing as a profound person”…
So here I am accepting an opportunity to speak to you about some great insights into success. All I know is I’ve been in the music business for 40 years. I’m still here. So I guess I’m successful.
I relate most to a quote in the movie ‘As Good As It Gets. The Gay guy observes of the disgruntled novelist about his new attempt at a love life….“the one thing you have going for you is your willingness to humiliate yourself”.
This morning I’ve been asked to speak to you about “The cost of success and the Road To Redemption”. I don’t pretend to know that cost in actual figures. But I know I’m still making payments! and my interest rate is pretty high. In the movie the Awakening, a researcher, being interviewed for a new job says, “I’ve been studying the habits of worms for the last 20 years, to see if there was any chance of using worm feces for fertilizer”. ? “that would never work” the interviewer says. The researcher replies “Yes, I know that now” .
The cost of success is greatest in discovering what success is not! And these days it might be discovering what success is not anymore! We have a golden opportunity in these lean times to sharpen our focus on what is most productive. They say companies are run better with less waste when they can no longer afford to waste. In rehab, I recall a statement about climbing the ladder of success only to find the ladder was leaning against the wrong building. What I have learned recently is that Upward movement can be a deception. I have also learned in my own experience that if the ladder is not stable the climb will be a waste of time.
I had a reasonably stable ladder as a young man. My dad was a preacher, so was my mom for that matter. I could point out the defects of character in my parents that I might have inherited, but all in all I was given a good foundation. One thing I had to learn by myself however, is that having the answers before you know the questions does not help you work the problem. Put an arrogant big shot on a “stable” but skinny ladder and when he gets to the top his own weight distribution will definitely change the dynamic.
I believe maintaining a balanced EGO might be the first cost of success. Cause it gets fatter the closer to the top of the ladder you get. I found myself expecting more and delivering less.
I’ve always questioned Jesus’ words “if you want to lead learn to be the servant of all”. I chose to “delegate” my service requirements. To the point I had too much time on my hands. I was financially unworried for thirty years. But I was not content. My passion became a distant cousin in my little family business.
I wrote a song recently, that says “You gotta do what you love… and love what you get”. That’s really where I might have gone wrong to begin with. I was unhappy with the results of my passion, mostly it was because it was never enough!. Pretty soon it was “just business”. I ended up in Rehab at the top of my career, another disillusioned victim of addictions. I became my own biggest liability.
I know what that cost me. I lost a wife, and the fragile trust of many, my home, and at least half of my career. But God was gracious in that I was not the recipient of Public humiliation. I quietly checked into a Rehab In 1990 mostly for long term depression. I reached an early arrival at “gaining the world and losing my own soul”. Looking back I would say it was a matter of poorly defined parameters about what success is, always followed by unrealistic expectations. After all I was only looking for Universal acceptance and world wide domination.
I have always had well meaning intentions, but even my most noble of causes have been side lined by my own defects of character. Being something of a Rock Star, I was afforded the notion, that I was above the law and the rules did not apply to me. Simple ones, like the rules of consequence. My choices for self comfort were justified when my bank account was healthy, but I was growing spiritually bankrupt even as I wrote and sang the regurgitated messages of hope and salvation that paid the bills. I don’t lay out my list of addictions as I believe they are merely symptoms of a deeper affliction. Behaviors, you’ve all heard about time and again from celebrities who answer to no one, are so typical they become rather boring. What I’d like to say here is that Recovery works when you work it. I might add it stops when you stop.
I’ve been working a recovery program since 1990. I’d like to say I’ve had no problems since arriving at Step 12 but the truth is I am still powerless over my dependencies (starting with an unaligned Self Determination) and they are still capable of making my life unmanageable. I’ve heard the stories of those who’ve been miraculously and instantaneously transformed by the power of God. That has not been my experience. God delivers me daily, but he has never removed my power to choose between success and failure.
I could list the things I do that are constructive to rehabilitation too but it usually serves to place me in denial about what I’m still capable of doing in a direction that is not suitable for success in life. Jesus Christ is my higher power and supreme redeemer but I still discount his work in me, and ignore one principle while following another.
I’ve learned that Salvation can be quick but Redemption is a process. Recovery is for everyone eventually. It’s like I say on my radio rehab show on line: “if you have living relatives, you have something to recover from”. So don’t think you have to be a crack addict before you believe you need to find a way to overcome yourself as a liability.
Addiction is merely self will run amuck. It can be whatever makes your life unmanageable. It may be as subtle as self serving greed! If the consequences of giving in to temptations were immediate, we probably wouldn’t be tempted at all. The denial starts from the beginning that “just this once” I’ll go around the boundaries.
No one recalls the seven years I wrote and sang music without a contract or a budget. And no one will ever award you for the daily discipline it will take before success arrives either. They will only see the results of what pans out. I think of the leper who dipped seven times in the Jordan. He only came up once with pure skin.
If you are personally defective in some area of your life that only you might know, You have a lot of company so don’t stand alone. “Confess your faults one to another that you might be healed” it says in James chapter 5 verse 16. the recovery program adds: “to God, yourself and at least one other person, someone you trust”!
No one recovers alone… and success really does have many fathers. “Yes, I know that now!” I took much for granted of those who worked on my behalf. I have made and am still making amends for my thoughtlessness and unappreciative nature.
Today I would say that I am happier doing more with less. More than I have ever been! Because my passion has been restored above all else. It gives me a better attitude regardless of what the economy does or the circumstances I am in. I am successful because I can see the value in all the things I once took for granted. I used to get disappointed with God because he would never tell me the outcome of my efforts or give me a clear look at the future. What I realize now is that I was overlooking the joy of surprises.
I heard a statement in the movie “call of the wild”… speaking of a boy who left home and disconnected from his parents dysfunctional lives never to be heard from again. “They are not the same people” his sister says in a letter to him that he never read. “they are people softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss”. Gentleman that would be me! softened by the forced reflection that comes with loss.
I have started over from scratch. Redefining what is within reasonable boundaries for risk to achieve. I believe Jesus died for my sins but God surely lets me suffer the consequence of my own free will. Perhaps so that I may grow in wisdom so that in my old age I can say. God’s will is more than a suggestion for a good life. There is only one path that leads to success. It is through the denial of your own self satisfying desires. If your goal to be successful includes being “self satisfied” , You will not find true success at anything!
Someone told me that if you invest everything in one thing, you will be forever disappointed. Because there will be no surprises, only great expectations, and surely much disappointment.
I like something I heard from a friend in Recovery who said “what if your plan b was really God’s plan A all along. I have come to believe that Happiness is a by product of business until God surprises you with his plan A blessings. Something that cannot be worked for to achieve. It comes with the insight into how much we are already successful because Christ has redeemed us apart from any effort on our part. We are now free to pursue whatever is pure and noble and of good report.
I wish you all the insight into what makes you truely successful. thank you for letting me share.
by Bobbi Ysmael
Hello, Mr. Bryan Duncan,This is Bobbi Ysmael.The one you met in Santa Paula in the park a few years back. I still think it was like yesterday. I really loved your show that day and I’ve been wanting to send you a very much thankyou note but a few things have happened to me to come between me and that. The person I was staying with at the time kind of beat me up after that show you put on and I left, stayed in my car for about a month then went to a shelter. Then I met someone a year later and now I live in Aberdeen Washington. But it’s been a very hectic kind of journey between then and now but at least I can finally write to you and tell you how much I really, really loved that show and I will never ever forget you coming all the way to Santa Paula and I would love to think that you did it just for me. I know that you did not do it just for me. But it’s still a very nice thought. So, here’s to you and again Thankyou and Thank God for you.
Bobbi Ysmael aka cutiepiebobbilittlehorse@yahoo.com
You can find me at Bobbi Ysmael at my space.com also if you like. I have all my family photo’s in there and on Facebook.
My daughter has a recording studio called Altercation Records and her magazine is Altercation and if you go to
quasimodoeastcoast@myspace.com this is my daughters store and if you scroll down under the picture of the “who I’d like to meet part” hers is the very first photo there. Her name is Lana Ysmael. aka adamanteve@myspace.com
She is a very talented and beautiful singer and musician. She plays Electric Bass, Trumpet, Clarinet, Guitar, and Drums and has been since she was 6 years old. She has 9 bands out on her label. She always asks me to share with fellow musicians and singers so I do. I am including a photo of me for you. Well, I tried but I don’t know how on here. But you can find a photo of me on the other sites and this one too.
PEACE, LOVE, JOY, FROM GOD AND ME
Love Bobbi
I know but I felt like the thankyou has been needed to be shared for quite awhile now. Sorry it took so long.
posted 10 months ago
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