THERE SHE IS! published in Wheels Of Grace

”THERE SHE IS”…written by Bryan Duncan

Sharon Chiles was my girlfriend’s mother. I met her thirteen months ago. A week later she was diagnosed with cancer. She came to my house on Thanksgiving and I had met her one other time at the home of one of her five kids. By then the chemo had taken her hair.

Yesterday, I watched her life slip by in a slide show.  It was a simple collection of pictures that, when taken years ago, we’re never thought of as a final look back. 30 seconds as a little girl, before fashion statements and make up. 30 seconds, transforming into a woman, and she was gorgeous. 30 seconds of wild times and big smiles.

And by the end of a single song of background music, though still radiant, she was in her fifties. But then the song changed with the opening sound of a penny whistle, reminiscent of the theme music from the movie, “Braveheart”. And there she is, sitting upright in a hospital bed, half of what she was on the outside.

Cancer has a startling way of narrowing who a person truly is. Gone are the trappings of fashion and the Identifying marks of individuality or social distinction. And suddenly the one focus is upon the eyes, from where the light of a true soul seems to come.

I believe Sharon was redeemed. By that I don’t mean the Christian concept of being  “Saved” in the acceptance of a savior and given a redirected sense of purpose. No, Redeemed-To be bought back, like being taken off the pawn shop floor.

I don’t know why some people tend to linger at death’s door longer than others. I’ve heard stories before this, of loved ones “being given permission” to let go. And even with that, Sharon lingered for an uncomfortable amount of time. It was as if she were waiting in line, as if there was some kind of back up of souls knocking on heavens door.

Funerals are exhausting for the survivors. Maybe it is because we’re forced to see the end of our own lives coming too quickly. We’re forced to look at how fragile faith in eternity can be. “Visit the dying often” someone quoted to me once. “because it brings an immediacy to our lives”. A lot of phrases float around at funerals. “She’s in a better place” I hear most often. But it is said most often with just a hint of fear that our hope in the scriptures on eternal life and destiny will fall short. Fear of the unknown is exactly that!

I found one  piece of imagery fascinating, given grave side, from a Van Dyke poem on Immortality, of a ship sailing into the distance until it is out of sight. (only as I recall) it went “ Though she slips from our view on the shore, the ship is still strong and under full sail and carrying a full cargo, and coming into view of another world”. “There she is!”  “they exclaim on the other side as she appears on a new horizon”. That is my hope!  The hope that Jesus is right! There’s more to life than this life!.            Trusting in God for what I don’t have a clue about really is what death offers those of us still living. I can still see Sharon in my minds eye, the way I can see heaven and believe it is there! And now, when I see heaven?, I don’t see streets of gold anymore. I see the faces of the people I’ve known!  And I close my eyes and look and say… “There she is”!